Stand up for dads

It has been my experience as a clinical psychologist, who specializes in children and teenagers that whenever there is separation, divorce or even discord in the family, the one who gets alienated from his children is usually the father. I have seen numerous cases in which the mother has used the father against his children, because of her own pain or differences with him.

Listen up mother. Even though you have been hurt, or even treated badly by the father, unless there is an issue of domestic violence, abuse or substances, there is no other reason the father should be alienated from his children. Even though you are capable of raising them by yourself and you have so may skills and talents, your children still need their father. These are the 3 reasons why.

1. Children who grew up with their fathers have better self-esteem, because of the way a father relates to their children. Fathers push their children to their limits, and usually set stricter boundaries, which allows them to regulate their emotions and achieve new things.
2. Fathers provide a sense of security for their children because they will rustle with them while they play, and they usually change the rules, in a way that their game becomes unpredictable. This way, children learn to adopt and become flexible.
3. Fathers usually stick to the consequences they set for when the children are mischievous, and this builds character and humility. A virtue known to built resilience in children.

So please, mothers, stop using your children as a bullet to revenge your husband, ex husband, baby’s father etc. because it will ricochet on your children, and you will be the one to blame. One day your children will grow up, and they will form their own opinion about their parents and they will resent the fact tha you kept them away from their father.

As far as you are concerned dear father, I would like for you to know, that you should stand up and fight for your equal rights to co-parent. No one else will do it for you. If you feel that you have been unfairly pushed aside, don’t just stand there and watch. Fight for your right to raise your children. Because one day, your children will grow up, and they will ask you “why, or where have you been when I needed you?” I hope you will have a good answer. And no, blaming the mother is not a good answer. People can do whatever they want, but what counts in life is how you respond.